Music and Lyrics and the Alamode
There is a faction of people who believe that when two people have a lot in common it makes for a great relationship, there are still others who believe that opposites attract. When Eddie and I became friends we fell into both categories. We had a lot in common but in a lot of ways we couldn’t have been more opposite. Music was a very important part of both our lives but as far as academics was concerned, Eddie was third in our class and I was third from the bottom.
Somehow from our dubious beginnings as feuding youngsters we managed to forge a passing friendship in Junior High. He was one of the top instrumental musicians and I was one of the top in vocal music. I began to see Ed and something more than just that “Fat Little Tiedgen Kid,” and just started seeing him as Eddie. We didn’t share any classes in Jr. High or High School because Ed was a very good student and excelled into the highly academic classes. I relied heavily on my drama and music classes to bring my grade point average to somewhere around average.
In high school we found ourselves one morning at Fontana High School auditioning to be a part of the same youth experience group. We had attended a daytime and evening rally for Kathy Lee Crosby’s “Get High On Yourself”. In the 80’s Kathy Lee Crosby was co-host of a TV Show called “That’s Incredible.” She had started this youth program as an arts based program that taught kids to stay away from drugs and alcohol. They were looking for more youth all over Southern California to be troupe members that would travel around together doing positive self esteem workshops from kids to kids.
The day of the audition Ed had is German foreign exchange student with him. He was looking for someone he knew so he didn’t have to entertain the German kid by himself all afternoon and I was looking for anyone I knew so I could feel like I wasn’t the only one there. That day changed everything for Ed and I and started us on a friendship that was extremely close.
One might expect that Ed would perform an instrumental music piece and that I might sing a song for my audition. However, Ed decided to do a comedy routine that he had come up with on the spot and I did a monologue that I had created that day as well. We both were great, if I do say so myself.
There were other kids from other schools present and we all seemed to gel fairly well. With each new “Get High On Yourself” rehearsal and event Eddie and I became closer and more like best friends. It started because most events and rehearsals were out in the Los Angeles area so we relied on each other to carpool. During those rides and events we started realizing that we had lots of reasons to be friends.
We had the same irreverent sense of humor. While I drew out the extrovert in Eddie he drew out the balance and calm in me. I thought of it very much like a great song, it takes both the music and lyrics to make it work.
When it was time to graduate, 1985, Ed was heading to become a music major at UCLA and I was headed down the block to Richard’s Beauty College in Fontana. We were still heavily involved in “GHOY”. My sister and I would drive out to Van Nuys each weekend to spend time with Ed and al our “GHOY” friends.
I remember one weekend in particular when Eddie and I were sitting in his bedroom closely together. I don’t remember what he was showing me, but we were laughing and I had a brief thought that shocked me, “hey he is pretty cute.” That same weekend we happened to be talking about relationships. When you get a lot of young people together, you will eventually come around to talking about relationships. Ed and I were discussing how a relationship shouldn’t make you complete. You should be a complete person already and a relationship is like the alamode on a pie, it makes you better.
On the drive home, I remember looking at my sister and saying, “I think I like Ed.” I said it out loud almost like a question. She didn’t seem that shocked but seemed like she could see the pairing. At home, I sat in my room thinking of Ed and wondering if he was thinking about me. I opened up my notebook, got out a pen and started writing him a letter.
In this missive I told Ed how much his friendship meant to me and that I was really glad that we had become so close. I thanked him for letting us come up to stay with him every weekend while we hung out with the other GHOY kids and that I hoped we would be friends forever. I ended the letter by saying, “and by the way, I think I would really like to be your alamode.”
I put it in an envelope but it took me a good hour to lick it closed. Before I could think anymore about t I put it out in our mailbox, took a deep breath and flipped up the metal flag. I went through the rest of my week wondering if I would hear from him, and if I heard from him, what would he say. However, the phone never rang and each day I got more and more nervous that I had flubbed up a great friendship by going “there”. Like most of our weekends, we were due to go to L.A. again and I was down right scared that things would be awkward and uncomfortable for us both.
However, when Sue and I arrived things were like they always were. I hoped against hope that maybe I wrote down the address wrong and he never received it. Or, if he had received it, he was just going to ignore it and I could blissfully do the same and we would forever just pretend it never happened. Then Sunday came.
During Sunday afternoon several of us were hanging out at Ed’s and we decided to go get frozen yogurt. On the way back to Ed’s apartment he turned to me and said, “when we get back to the apartment I would like to talk to you about your letter. In that one moment my stomach dropped and I felt nervous and sick. While the rest of the group sat in the living room laughing and watching TV we went into Ed’s room and discussed my letter and what would change about our relationship if we began to date each other.
We didn’t know it at the time but Eddie had severe OCD but beyond that he was very analytical about things and it was one of those things that endeared me to him. I loved how brilliant he was and even though it was clear, to me anyway, that he was much smarter than I was, he never made me feel that way. For someone who grew up believing she was stupid it was an amazing feeling.
We were very detailed about what would change. During that 3 hour conversation we decided that we would most definitely kiss and that we would most definitely not have sexual intercourse (so to avoid any unwanted pregnancy). We both agreed that we would hold hands, tell our friends that we were dating but that we would also give it a trial run so that if we found it didn’t work, we could still save our friendship. Most girls would not have found the discussion romantic at all, but I knew Eddie and I knew that he didn’t have a lot of romantic experience but even more than that we accepted each other for who we were.
When the discussion was coming to a close we decided to go out into the living room and tell our friends that we were a couple. We walked out smiling slyly and one of our friends said “what are you guys doing?” We looked at each other and he said “tell them.” I said proudly “We have decided to start dating each other.” Our group of friends looked back with blank unsurprised faces and said “It’s about time!” Apparently they had seen our coupling long before we did.
We knew within the first month that we would be together forever. We understood each other we had a lot in common and then it seemed where I was weak he was strong and where he lacked I had abundance. Soul mates. Ed was shy when it came to girls. I used to wonder if I hadn’t written that letter what would have happened and then I realized when two people were made to love one another as much as Eddie and I were, it was bound to happen no matter what.
